


'Til It's Gone

by Inky_Blackheart



Category: ReBoot (TV)
Genre: Canonical Character Death, F/M, Grief/Mourning, I Wrote This Instead of Sleeping, Implied/Referenced Character Death, Loss, Not Actually Unrequited Love, Sad Ending, Ultimate Sacrifice, Unrequited Love
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-20
Updated: 2020-03-20
Packaged: 2021-03-01 05:01:11
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,158
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23189662
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Inky_Blackheart/pseuds/Inky_Blackheart
Summary: (DAEMON RISING SPOILERS) Hexadecimal is gone, and she's never coming back. Bob tries (and fails) to make peace with that.Edited 08/07/20 for grammar, punctuation, and word choice.
Relationships: Bob/Hexadecimal (ReBoot)
Comments: 4
Kudos: 8





	'Til It's Gone

**Author's Note:**

> CW: Death, grieving/mourning
> 
> Spoilers for Daemon Rising

It’s the small things, at first.

The brush of something claw-like on his shoulders. A brief flash of red out of the corner of his eye. When he walks past where Hex used to live, in her little tower. When he notices Little Enzo looking sadly into the distance, staring out at the same place.

“What’s wrong, buddy?” Bob asks gently, sliding into the seat beside him. The cafe hasn’t changed much. It’s still brightly lit and quiet. The soft cushion of the booth lets him sink into his spot, wrapping one arm around Little Enzo. He checks quickly to make sure Matrix isn’t lurking around somewhere. He’s very protective of his past self.

“I know it’s weird, but...I miss her.”

“Who’s her?”

Enzo sighs. “Hex.”

Bob bites his tongue. His breath catches in his throat. If he lets his focus shift, he can still feel her hand on his chest. “I miss her too,” he admits out loud for the first time. “I miss her too.”

“I liked it when she smiled,” Enzo says wistfully.

Bob feels a stabbing pain in his heart when he remembers all the different versions of that expression he’d seen over the years. He likes to think she was happy, in the end, but who could tell with her. Hex’s emotions switched at the drop of a hat, but he knew for sure she’d been in pain. In his place. She probably hadn’t been smiling, at the end. “Me too.”

#

“It’s been six months, Bob.” Dot slams her hand on the command room table. Bob doesn’t jump. Her anger was building from the second he stopped paying attention, when he steepled his fingers in front of him and let his eyes go hazy. The exhausted, code-weary part of him wants to snap that she’s the one who said her name, but he doesn’t. He just takes a deep breath, waiting for the rest of the lecture he knows is coming. Instead, Dot just pinches the bridge of her nose and sighed. “I know she’s the reason we’re all still here. Don’t get me wrong, I’m grateful for her sacrifice. But you’ve got to let her go. This isn’t the first time you’ve gone...somewhere else during a meeting. It’s not good for you.”

Bob knows this. User-damn it, he knows. But it doesn’t stop him from hurting whenever someone says her name. It stings, like being shredded in half by Megabyte’s claws. That’s the worst part. Megabyte is still here, and Hex is... “I know. I’m sorry.”

Dot sits next to him and covers his flat hand with hers. “Don’t be sorry. You’re allowed to be sad when you lose someone.”

Bob laughs, a bitter bark. “Me? I didn’t lose anyone. I’m just mourning a fallen comrade in arms. An enemy, even. I’ll be fine.”

“She died for you.” Bob swivels his head and looks deep into Dot’s eyes. They’re calm behind her glasses, and her tone is even, like she’s been wanting to say this for days. “She loved you. Even if you didn’t love her, it’s more than just a dead enemy. At least admit that to yourself.”

“I can’t. I...i’s easier to mourn an enemy than a friend.” Bob says quietly. “If I start thinking about it too much...”

“A friend deserves to be missed, Bob. They deserve your sadness. But I know she wouldn’t want you to be unhappy. Well, it was Hex, so maybe a little.” Dot laughs to herself. Bob chuckles along. She pats him on the arm. “It’ll be okay, Bob.”

“It’s been six months and it still isn’t. There’s so much left unsaid. I can feel these words rattling around inside me, but if I try to say them...I shut down. I just want to stop feeling like this.”

Dot bites her lip and stares at the table. “Maybe you need to get out more. Do something fun with Matrix, or little Enzo. We could even go for a walk in the square if you want.”

Bob stands, startling Dot. “Maybe I’ll go for a walk alone. Clear my head.”

“If that’s what you want.” Dot gets to her feet and wraps Bob in a hug. “My brave Bob. I’ll be here waiting for you to get back. We can talk more then.”

Bob nods into her shoulder, ignoring the tears in his eyes.

#

He isn’t entirely sure why he picks a fight with Megabyte, of all viruses. There’s still so much to do to pick up the pieces after Daemon’s attack, but ~~she’s gone~~ all he wants is to take out his anger on someone. He finds Megabyte in his old hide-out, sitting in the dark, muttering to himself, his red fin illuminated by the glow from a monitor window. His old enemy barely lifts his head when Bob walks in, only minimizing his screen. “Can I help you, Guardian?” His deep voice echoes through the empty cavern.

“What are you planning, Megabyte?” Bob accuses.

Megabyte rolls his eyes. “Did someone inform you I was planning something, or did you just assume I was and came in here to stop me before I even started?”

Bob doesn’t reply. He drops into a fighting stance, waiting for Megabyte to stand, to continue their cycle of hatred and violence. He wants to feel something. Something other than sad.

Megabyte stands, slowly. As his full figure stretches to the light Bob notices something. He looks warped, dishevelled. Megabyte looks like he’s been put through the ringer, like he kept the damage taken after a game. Bob lets his fists drop. This isn’t right. Something in his code screams that this isn’t right.

“Happy?” Megabyte hisses, interrupting his thoughts. The virus’s body twitches like he too is realizing that their fight would be pointless. “Does it look like I’m planning something to you, guardian?”

Bob shakes his head. “No.”

Megabyte regards him for a moment. “You’re here about her, aren’t you.” It isn’t a question. It’s a statement. Bob nods. “Fighting me won’t distract you from how you feel, you know.” His fists clench. “Not that you deserve a distraction. I revel in your sadness, guardian. It’s the only thing that has made me feel better in six months.”

“How do I deserve to be sad?” Bob snaps, throwing the closest thing in reach at Megabyte. The chair rattles and clangs as it hits the wall and falls to the floor.

Megabyte regards it with a raised eyebrow. “Feel better?”

“No,” Bob grinds out.

“Good.” Megabyte jumps over his seat in one fluid motion, dropping into a fighting stance. He charges at Bob, fists out, clawed hands poised to scratch and stab. Bob notices that he’s a little off-kilter, but it makes no difference. So is he. They drop into their old pattern, striking and jumping back, striking and jumping back, grabbing and slashing in almost slow motion, neither striking to kill. They stop, panting, glaring at each other.

“How about now?” Megabyte taunts.

“No!” Bob groans. “No, I don’t!”

“You don’t deserve to feel better,” Megabyte snarls, shoulders heaving with exertion. “You deserve to feel every ounce of her pain.”

“What are you talking about?”

“My sister,” Megabyte spits in contempt. Bob isn’t sure if it’s directed at him or at Hex. “She died for you. She gave up everything for you, you ungrateful wretch!”

“I...” Bob tucks a lock of hair behind his ear. He doesn’t know what to say to that. “I know.”

“You know? Do you? Do you know how it feels to have half of your soul ripped away?”

 _I do. I watched her die._ “I thought you hated her.”

“Our bond was complicated. Our relationship was strained. What you forget, guardian, is that we split from the same being. She is my other half, and she’s gone. Because she was in love with the perfect guardian, the magnificent Bob, the worthless glitch who...”

“That’s enough.” Bob raises his hand, shushing the virus. Megabyte continues to glower at him. “You’re not telling me anything I don’t already know.”

“You knew she loved you, and yet you let her...”

“Well,” Bob admits, “I didn’t know how much she did until she...died.” His hands start to shake.

“You feel guilt, do you?” Megabyte throws his head back and laughs cruelly.

“Yes. I do.”

Megabyte and Bob share a long look. Something is softer in the virus’s eyes. Regret, maybe. Bob knows his eyes are much the same. “Leave me. I will forget all this if you just _go_.”

“You’re not...”

“Do I look like I’m in any state to make plans?” Megabyte asks, gesturing at the untidy lair around him. It’s usually immaculate, but Bob wonders how Megabyte gets anywhere between the overturned furniture and the broken pieces of...something. As much as Bob is loathed to admit it, his enemy really isn’t.

“I’ll go, then.” Bob gets on his board and prepares to leave. Megabyte grabs his arm.

“Go check on Scuzzy,” he pleads, “please.”

“I will,” Bob promises. Megabyte lets go.

#

Bob flies straight to Hex’s old lair. He’d been avoiding it for months, taking the long way to everything to avoid the big, towering structure jutting out over the other buildings of Mainframe. _Just like her_ , he thinks, lowering his board. _Big personality, overshadowing everything around her_. There’s nothing quite like it. There was nothing quite like her.

It seems so quiet now, Bob thinks, without Hex’s unhinged laughter or random ranting. He remembers it being a different colour, too. Brighter, somehow. The further he walks into the place, the more he remembers. Hex hacking the paint function. Hex accidentally letting a virus out. Hex forcing him to play games with her. Giving her the mask. How happy she’d been. How she could smile without switching her face for the first time, Hex. Hex. Hex.

Bob felt his legs get weak. He falls to the ground. It’s quiet. Everything’s falling apart. This place feels like a graveyard. She’s gone. Any trace of her is gone. It’s like she never existed. Like she’d been trashed and then recycled. He allows his tears to fall freely. He never thought he’d miss Hex’s grating voice, but all he wants to hear is her telling him again how much she loved him. So he could repeat it back to her. 

She died for him, and she’s never coming back.

Bob feels something nudge his side. He looks down to find Scuzzy, a little worse for wear, but alive. The little familiar nuzzles his hand, staring up at him expectantly. “Hey buddy,” Bob says quietly, giving Scuzzy’s head a good scratch. “I bet you miss her, huh?”

Scuzzy lets out a low, sad whine. Bob nods. “Me too.”

Scuzzy jumps into his arms and presses his little nose into his chest. Bob wraps his arm around the cat-creature, resting his wet cheeks on his forehead vid-screen. Everything hurts.

Scuzzy’s vidscreen flickers to life. Hex’s voice emerges from the speakers beneath the screen, and her image is bright and clear. Bob lifts his head. He sees Hex dancing around her lair, Hex petting Scuzzy with a gentleness he never knew she had, Hex smiling to herself, singing a little song she wrote about...him. It’s a little lewd and extremely off-key, but it moves him all the same.

“She really meant it, didn’t she?” Bob asks Scuzzy. He doesn’t expect Scuzzy to answer. Truthfully, he already knows. The familiar beeps regardless.

Scuzzy pauses the image on Hex smiling for the first time. Bob places his hand on the screen, imagining caressing her smooth face. “Oh, Hex.” He whispers. “I’m sorry. I wish I’d been better to you. I wish I’d appreciated you more. Not the things you did, or the havoc you wreaked, but you. Just the way you were.”

He takes a deep breath. His heart sinks. “I wish I could have thanked you before you left me.”

Scuzzy nudges him. Bob sighs. “Thanks, Hex.” He wishes, more than anything else, that she could hear him.

He stands, slowly. His body feels heavy all over. His eyes hurt. Everything hurts. Maybe that’s just how it’s going to be from now on. Achy, sore and heavy. But he still has to stand up. He still has to protect Mainframe. Or else what she did was for nothing.

He picks up Scuzzy and gets back on the board. The familiar seems ecstatic to get attention. Bob tries not to think about how long he’s been alone. He tries not to think about how pathetic he is, taking Scuzzy away from his home for selfish reasons. It isn’t her, but it’s the closest he has right now. That he’ll ever have. “Come on, little guy. Let’s go home. I’ll take care of you.”

Scuzzy lets out a mournful trill and Bob tries not to cry as he returns home, back to his new, emptier, normal.

**Author's Note:**

> Daemon Rising broke my goddamn heart. It does every time I watch it. Screw that little purple witch. Hex is my favourite, and Bob didn't deserve her.
> 
> So...I started this fic before one of my writer friends died of cancer, and finished it after. I thank you for reading this attempt to work through loss. 
> 
> I didn't want to fall into the trap of making Dot a jealous jerk and a one-dimensional hater. I actually really like her, even if I ship Bob and Hex more. I know she'd be understanding, since Hex's sacrifice saved her too. 
> 
> I haven't rewatched the series in a while, so forgive me if some of my wording is a little off. 
> 
> My Tumblr: https://inkyblacc.tumblr.com/


End file.
